Success is tied to our Legacy

I want to state right up front that this is a personal post. I also want to state that this may be considered an illustration of a previous post where I discussed success as investment. Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, let’s get busy.

Last Thursday (June 4, 2009) I turned 40 years old. On Sunday, my wife surprised me with a party for both my birthday and graduation with my doctorate. There were about 35 people there. It was a blast and I was truly overwhelmed by her actions and the turnout.

The husband of one family who came was on the pastor search team that brought me here to Delaware five years ago. He was a difficult guy to read during those initial phone conversations. I remember during one conversation, he asked a hypothetical question that I was able to talk my way through, though I’m not sure it made any sense. When he asked the question, I could hear on the other end of the line phrases such as, “What?” and “Are you serious?”. We all got a good laugh after my answer when another member asked him what he was thinking by asking such an odd question. His response was “I don’t know, I just made it up!” He is the supreme jokester and we had a lot of fun together with he and his family. Unfortunately, less than a year after I arrived, they had to move due to a job change. While they only moved an hour away, it was just too far to drive to be a part of our community of faith.

In the five years I have been in Delaware, we have had to say goodbye to a lot of people because of transitions in the marketplace. In fact, if my calculations are correct, we have sent almost 100 missionaries in the past five years. When I got here we had less than 80 people. (Please don’t do the math…If you’re a numbers person, it’s not pretty).

Because he and his family arrived late for the party, they ended up staying after everyone else had left and we got a chance to talk. It was the first time we had been together in over four years, but you would never know it.

I asked the family how they were enjoying the church they were attending. I know the pastor there and he’s a great guy. I mentioned something about the building during our conversation and he told me they had two large parcels of land and were trying to figure which parcel of land to build on. The church was going to build a large new campus. He said (and I’m paraphrasing), “I don’t know why they want to do that. They want to build up. We should be building wide, like you were talking about when you came here.” He and his family are waiting for the opportunity to help plant a church in their own area. In fact, he has stopped going to meetings where decisions are being made because he’s frustrated that the church wants to buy land or build big buildings. I sat there stunned that a man whom I had roughly one year to invest in was still trumpeting my words and mission four years later.

After they left, I came into my office and downloaded Nicole Nordeman’s song Legacy (album: Recollection: The Best of Nichole Nordeman) off of iTunes. I searched Youtube to see if the video was there. And I sat down with my wife and we talked about what he had said. And we started listing all the people who had moved to another part of the country or world, or who was still in the area but involved in a church plant. In most every case, the last update we heard from those missionaries were that they were investing themselves in ministry to church plants, small churches, or were pushing their churches to start churches. We sent out our first church planter one year after we came. He was a 73 year old retired Asian pastor who had been in our church less than a year and was compelled, according to him, to help start an Asian church out near the University of Delaware through our weekly discussions and the prompting of God (which is far more important). He and his wife are still involved in that plant four years later. Another family moved away in 2006. They joined a small church intending to planting churches as well as wanting to their skills, gifts and talents to serve, love, and invest in their community. They were intentional in that. I could tell story after story of people who were sent out with that mindset.

We need to consider our legacy as we minister, realizing all of us are ministers. How was Jesus known after the resurrection? Through those in whom he had invested himself. They were a reflection of Jesus, “little Christ’s”. The legacy of Jesus was not found in the masses but in the individuals AND the communities of faith that reflected a deep investment by Jesus and His Spirit. Jesus’ legacy is not found in the masses. It was found in the reflections. Your legacy is not found in the masses, but in those who reflect your life. We all need to realize that while we teach what we know, we reproduce who we are. Those in whom you invest will reflect who you are. That is a sobering thought.

We have not seen the masses come to Christ while we have been in Delaware. We have baptized 13 these past five years and led a few more to Christ that we didn’t baptize. My legacy will not be that I led a thriving, bustling, busy and large church. My legacy will be that since I arrived five years ago, we have sent out people seeking to make investments in the lives of others through church planting and church multiplication as well as living the Gospel as a message of wholeness, ministering to the whole person through investment, not just seeing them get out of hell and into heaven or coming to our particular church. (The irony: I’m not a church planter but I have a passion to see the church multiply, not grow big.) My legacy will be found in the people I invested in, not in the numbers I obtained, which really aren’t mine anyway.

I’ve listened to Legacy (album: Recollection: The Best of Nichole Nordeman) several times since Sunday night.  I’ve wept each time. The reason: at least one family in whom I invested a short period of my life in still lives that investment four years later. That never, ever gets old!

Lest you don’t know the song I speak of, here are the words:

I don’t mind if you’ve got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the who’s who and so-n-so’s that used to be the best
At such ‘n such…it wouldn’t matter much

I won’t lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an “Atta boy” or “Atta girl”
But in the end I’d like to hang my hat on more besides
the temporary trappings of this world

Chorus:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don’t have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It’s an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Chorus

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, “Well done” good and faithful one

And the video:

Len Sweet

Just over two years ago, he walked in the room, at the Paramount Hotel in downtown Portland, OR.  I can remember what he was wearing and I thought, “this guy looks more like a 1960’s hippie than a professor”.  He went around the room meeting us, embracing those he already knew, and quietly making us feel important.

I have to say that I was nervous.  Len Sweet’s thoughts can be hazardous to your sleep, and I knew I was getting myself into something that would probably change my life forever.  In his introduction, he actually told us that would happen (and it has).  What I didn’t realize, until our cohort’s last time together with him, was what a wonderful model he gave regarding mentoring.  So in this post, I want to use Len as a case study to talk about mentoring, and I want you to see three things:

Effective Mentors give of their Time and Resources

Our first hour together, Len told us that one of his favorite restaurants was in Portland.  He told us that if we would give him $20 of our per diem for food, the next evening he would take us to this restaurant.  So the next night, 25 or so of us walked down the street to Morton’s Steakhouse, where a special menu was waiting for us.  I personally consumed about $100+ of food, not including the tea and milk (needed for my chocolate desert of course).

At our last cohort meeting in May, he had copies of his books that he gave away.  He also gave each of us shot glasses made of uranium glass.

A few weeks ago, my wife came in my office and told me, “Since Len is at Drew in New Jersey, why don’t we see if we could meet him for dinner?”  I told her to email him, and he responded quickly and gave us some dates that he would be available.  So two weeks ago we drove 2.5 hours from Delaware to meet him for dinner.  He took us to an incredible restaurant, where he picked up the check and made sure we had a wonderful experience.

My wife was amazed that someone of Len’s stature would spend time with the pastor of a small church and his wife.  But for two years I have seen Len do this, and I knew he would do this.  It is his heart.

Mentors are people who give of their time, resources and experiences.  They are not stingy, nor do they expect others to take care of them.  There are occasions where the mentor is to be honored, but they often struggle with that role.  What gets a mentor jazzed is to be able to share their life, all of their life, with others and see the light come on as those whom they have invested their life in finally understand what the mentor has been sharing.

Effective Mentors Open Doors and Expand Horizons

In 2007, I was at the Crystal Cathedral at a conference where Len was scheduled to speak, along with Bob Roberts.  I was able to have breakfast with Len the first morning, and mentioned that Bob Roberts was the Baptist I wanted to be.  So later that morning, Len taps me on the shoulder and says, “David, this is Bob Roberts.”  He introduced us and I am glad to call Bob a friend.  He spent time with me that day, gave me his contact info and we talked shop.  Bob even mentioned me in one of his books.

It was not only Bob, but Alan Hirsch.  And Joe Myers.  And on and on.  In two years he opened doors for me and others in my cohort to meet new people, be exposed to new opportunities and recommended us to positions and people.

Mentors do that.  They introduce others to people in their network.  I recall how I realized I was modeling this behavior personally.  I had a professor from one the six SBC seminaries up to do a parenting conference.  I mentioned how in one of our small groups, we were reading a book by Dan Kimball and that Dan was going to do a Skype videocast with us to talk about his book.  I also mentioned that I many in our church had read Bob Robert’s book Glocalization and that I got Bob to spend 2 hours on a conference call with us talking about the work and what he and his church was doing.  This professor told me that he really appreciated how I was using my network to open doors for others and to expand the horizons of their faith and understanding.  I now look and see that was a modeling of behavior I had seen out of my mentors – all of them – in my life.

Mentors also help us see beyond our own experiences.  They push us and expand our thinking.  And they help us make sense of our thoughts.

Effective Mentors Serve

Our last cohort meeting was at Len’s home on Orcas Island in the San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington state.  I watched at mealtime how he would always wait until everyone else was served and had all they needed before he ate.  He would pick up dirty plates and take out the trash.  And his kids also demonstrated that behavior.

It wasn’t just on one occasion.  I saw it on multiple occasions that I was with him.

He noted to us that he still preached at the camp meetings.  He loved doing it and it was also a reminder to him not to be too big for his britches as we would say in the south.  It helped him keep in touch with his roots and his passion for people.

He told my wife in an email after our dinner the other night that any way he could be a Barnabas to us, he would be happy to do so.

You see this humility and service in great mentors, notably Jesus.

This is not a post to exalt Len; in fact, he would probably not want me to post this.  But for me, Len has demonstrated some effective traits of mentoring.  We all need to be re-investing our lives and experiences in others.  Maybe this will give you principles to apply as well.

I have to believe that these same principles are evident in Jesus’ life.  They were certainly operating in Paul’s life.

Who are some of your mentors and how have they demonstrated effective mentoring to you?  Something you could do to honor them would be to let them know just how important they have been in your life.  Another thing would be to model mentoring by passing what you have learned from your mentors to others.

Now, a final note to Len…Thanks Len.  Not only for two years of blowing our minds but for opening doors, giving your time and resources, and modeling service.  The folks in LEC MOD 5 at GFU and there families will never be the same, which is what you told us would happen in the begining!