Integrating Missionally

I grew up in North Alabama, a mere hour from the city that built the rockets that put men on the moon and the Space Shuttle into orbit. I had a dream of being an astronaut. As a kid, I had a telescope with which I could view the stars. I also had a blue astronaut outfit that I wore quite a bit. I was even the flight director on a shuttle simulator during a week of the very first Space Camp. I love the stars.

Recently, a well known evangelical writer offered to talk with those who pastor small churches if they sent him a direct message on twitter. He would call them and talk with them about their ministry. I know this writer. He has planted churches and pastored them, been a teacher and denominational employee. However, it has been quite a while since he has pastored a small church. The thought came to me: can someone who hasn’t pastored a small church in more than a decade give advice and suggestions to someone who is currently pastoring a small church? That question led me to another: Why do we clamor for the opinions of celebrity leaders and large church pastors? Why do we chase after the stars?

1. May of us want to be like these celebrities.

The morning I met Bob Roberts, of Northwood Church in Keller, TX and Glocalnet, I told someone that Bob Roberts was the Southern Baptist I wanted to be. And I meant it. I saw what he was doing and wanted to do it in Delaware. I wanted the impact he was having. I wanted to influence as he was influencing.

Unfortunately, so many of us, especially younger pastors, don’t really know who we are yet. So we want to be someone else. We want to do what they do, and go where they go and say what they say. We even wear what they wear (remember all the pastor wearing Hawaiian shirts after coming back from a Rick Warren conference?) We don’t know how to be who we are. More on this in a moment.

2. We think they are successful. We want to be successful so we model ourselves after people we deem successful.

Yet many ministers have a flawed understanding of success. Here is why.

1. We are numbers-oriented. We have adopted a CEO-based concept of success. We see things in terms of statistics. It is what we celebrate. Because we celebrate numbers, that becomes what we measure. It is a closed loop system where the output, numbers, becomes the basis for inputs, which then reinforce the output. Large church pastors then have credibility based on the standard definition of success.

2. We are a pragmatic people. We desperately want to know what works, regardless of the context. Any idea we can try to grow our numbers is a welcomed addition to our ministry arsenal. If we are honest, there are even times when we look for ideas because we haven’t done the hard work to come up with our own ideas or haven’t spent the time listening to God to give us His ideas.

I was watching a video of Len Sweet speaking recently. He gave some concepts and ideas about an topic he was asked to speak on. During the question and answer time, Len was asked to walk through his thoughts and tell how they can be practically applied. Len is an architect kind of thinker. Architects design, contractors implement. That is not to say that Len can’t implement, just that he is at his best, I think, as an architect. What Len wanted to see happen, I believe, is for each of the folks in the conference to take the ideas and determine their own ways to implement those ideas. Our pragmatic mindset, however, often means we don’t do the hard work of thinking for ourselves.

Why we should limit our star-gazing?

1. In some matters of practical ministry, current perspective colors past success. What I mean by this is that what we do in the present can distort our view what we did in the past.

Our mind is a funny thing. Studies show that even after a short period of time, we have a distorted view of what actually happened. The pioneer cognitive psychologist, Ulric Neisser, examined people’s memories of the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger at two different times in the people’s lives – the day after and several years later. While most of the subjects stated that their memories of what they were doing that day were clear, in many instances the memory at the later date was dramatically different than the memory reported the day after the tragedy. [1]

What we think we did in the past may, in fact, be completely different that what we actually did. So when a pastor recounts how they implemented a plan or process, if they do not have specific recall and specific notes as well as others who walked through the process with them that confirm what was done, that leader may not be recounting correctly.

In addition, they may be looking through current “successes” and seeing actions from the past that didn’t happen. In doing so they are viewing the past through the present which will create a distorted understanding of the past. Therefore, we have to be careful at the value we place on the practices and processes of those we elevate to star status.

2. Each person is unique. You can’t replicate what someone has done because you are not that person. You do not have the same gifts and talents as that person. Simply trying to replicate what someone else has done could be disastrous. In addition, the experiences that form and shape each person are unique. I remember reading (or hearing) John Maxwell say one time that when has people come up to him and mention that they want to do what he does, he makes a bold statement. He says, “Are you willing to go through what I have gone through to do what I do?” The reason we can do what we do is because we have gone through what we have gone through. And that will be different for everyone.

3. The context is unique. The context that you live and minister and serve in is unique from the context the celebrity lives and serves in or lived and served in. Context in ministry is crucial to doing ministry.

So how do we gaze at the stars and not try to become the stars we see?

1. Learn to be who you were designed and purposed to be. That takes time. That takes dealing with the pain and struggles God has allowed in your life. Discover who you are, not who other people are.If you can do that, then…

2. Learn concepts and ideas instead of merely embracing the pragmatics of ministry. When I read books on ministry now, I read for concept, not for details. Concepts are transferable, details are not. Many ministry books are descriptive, not prescriptive in nature, yet the descriptive concepts are turned into prescriptive truths. The same is true for conferences. We need to be aware of that.

3. Read opposing views, particularly fair, gracious, and loving critics. When I was in college, I had a guy disciple me who was a youth pastor. We were talking about salvation one day, and I mentioned that I had picked up a book by John McArthur called “The Gospel According to Jesus”. He told me something I will never forget. He said, “You need to read an opposing view, discover both sides of the argument and then make your own determination.” So I did. And I was better for it. If you can get multiple perspectives, then that helps you place each person, each star you see, in a more realistic position. They are not on a pedestal nor are they in a tomb. They are who they are and do what they do and while you appreciate what they do, you do not elevate them to an improper position just below Jesus or the apostles.

4. Find a coach, not a model. A coach helps you discover your own ideas. A model is something you imitate.

NOTES:
1. Eugene Winograd and Ulric Neisser, Affect and Accuracy in Recall: Studies Of “Flashbulb” Memories, Emory Symposia in Cognition; 4 (Cambridge ; New York, NY, USA: Cambridge University Press, 1992), 9-10.

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Everybody Needs a Coach

Four years ago, in a Famous Dave’s BBQ in Columbia, MD a good friend gave me some advice that changed my life forever. He had planted a church several years earlier and had been in ministry for many years. Ron told me that the best decision he ever made was finding a pastoral coach to help him work through issues of ministry, family, and life.

Leaving that lunch, I called a Christian counselor, Fred, who had helped me in the past. He and another therapist had come to my church and dialogued with me about the impact of Lust on a family. This dialogue was our sermon that Sunday morning. I knew Fred had been a pastor so I called his office to see if he did pastoral coaching. His practice said he did, and we scheduled time to be together. Four years later, I still visit with him regularly. He has helped me focus my life, understand who I was created to be, who I am, and how to deal with the issues life, ministry and family through at me.

In addition to the formal relationship that Fred and I have, I also have informal relationships and deep friendships with others whom I seek for advice. But I always look forward to spending time with Fred. There is something about this coaching relationship that exceeds all others.

Over the years, as I’ve spent a lot of time with people and whether it was formal or informal, I discovered myself either being coached or coaching people. It came natural to me. As an informal/formal coaching relationship, I coached them, trained them and mentored them in some area of ministry, life, or family. In addition to that, I spent five years formally as an IT administrator and programmer and am even Microsoft Certified. During those years, I found myself doing the same thing, just in a business and IT setting.

Over the past year, as I have narrowed down what I felt I was designed to do, I have come to understand that I was wired to teach, train, coach and mentor. As a result, part of the next phase of my life, moving from success to significance, will involve me formally engaging in coaching and teaching relationships.

I have started a new coaching and teaching ministry called Missional Strategy.  All coaching is done through live, interactive video and/or audio discussions which are archived for review purposes, as well as through a private, interactive website with additional resources such as podcasts, links and questions to help move you forward. I am focusing my coaching on the following areas:

Missional Practices:

1. Developing Missional Theology, Thought and Practice
2. Church Planting
3. Starting a Small Business

Personal & Ministerial Development:

1. Personal Life Coaching
2. Pastoral Coaching
3. Children’s Ministry Coaching (with my wife as participant)
4. Leadership Development

Social Media Strategy:

1. Personal and Ministry Social Media Strategy Development (facebook, twitter, blog presence including hosting, coaching and ghostwriting)

Publishing through our publishing partner Missional Press

Group Coaching:

1. Cohort of pastors
2. Staff coaching

Regarding the teaching ministry, Missional Strategy develops and teaches courses on a wide variety of topics. Courses can be developed to provide theological training or to supplement existing training. In addition, we can develop training for your specific needs as a church, a staff, or simply a group interested in a certain theological, philosophical, or leadership development topic. All teaching is done through live, interactive video discussions which are archived for review purposes, as well as through an private, interactive website with additional resources such as podcasts and questions or quizzes and discussion groups.

For instance, I have developed a course on the Parables of Jesus that are unique to Luke. In this course, we would all gather in a video chat room through tokbox and discuss the parable and its implications to living life in a world that does not appreciate Jesus. During the week, there would be a website where people could ask questions, engage in discussions, and post podcasts, links, etc that pertain to that weeks discussion. It is totally interactive.

I am particularly excited about the social media strategy development. We will coach you through setting up both ministry-based and community interest blogs, facebook pages and events, as well as twitter accounts and social media strategies. We will even do ghost tweeting and ghost blog writing if you desire such services.

Everyone needs a coach. Rick Warren says:

Every pastor needs a mentor. No matter what stage you are in your ministry, you need someone to coach you.

All sorts of organizations use the mentoring process to make people better at what they do. In medicine, doctors mentor younger doctors. In music, musicians mentor other musicians. Why? It works. We learn best when we have people who can speak into our lives and ministry.

Proverbs 19:20 says, “Get all the advice you can and be wise the rest of your life.” I will always need a coach – no matter how old I get or how successful I become. Lebron James is one of the best basketball players on the planet. He still needs a coach. You will never get to a point in your life you can say, “I’ve learned it all. I don’t need anybody else to help me.”

A mentor brings out the best in you in three areas: your roles, your goals, and your soul. Mentors give us perspective. They help us look at ourselves and our ministry from the outside. We don’t always see what we’re doing outside of our own perspective. We see from our own limited focus. We need somebody else in our life to say, “Have you thought about…? What about this? What about that?”

…

Pastor, you need a mentor in your ministry. Whether you’re 35, 55, or 75, there is someone you can learn from. Find someone with character. Find someone with skills you desire. Find someone you trust.

Find a mentor.

(excerpted from “You need a mentor” http://legacy.pastors.com/RWMT/default.asp?id=376&artid=11714&expand=1)

If you are interested and would like more information on my coaching services, go to Missional Strategy (http://missionalstrategy.com) or click the contact link at the top and shoot me an email.

I would like to close with a short video from Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google. He is asked, “What is the best advice you have ever received?” His answer? Find a coach.

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Success is tied to our Legacy

I want to state right up front that this is a personal post. I also want to state that this may be considered an illustration of a previous post where I discussed success as investment. Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, let’s get busy.

Last Thursday (June 4, 2009) I turned 40 years old. On Sunday, my wife surprised me with a party for both my birthday and graduation with my doctorate. There were about 35 people there. It was a blast and I was truly overwhelmed by her actions and the turnout.

The husband of one family who came was on the pastor search team that brought me here to Delaware five years ago. He was a difficult guy to read during those initial phone conversations. I remember during one conversation, he asked a hypothetical question that I was able to talk my way through, though I’m not sure it made any sense. When he asked the question, I could hear on the other end of the line phrases such as, “What?” and “Are you serious?”. We all got a good laugh after my answer when another member asked him what he was thinking by asking such an odd question. His response was “I don’t know, I just made it up!” He is the supreme jokester and we had a lot of fun together with he and his family. Unfortunately, less than a year after I arrived, they had to move due to a job change. While they only moved an hour away, it was just too far to drive to be a part of our community of faith.

In the five years I have been in Delaware, we have had to say goodbye to a lot of people because of transitions in the marketplace. In fact, if my calculations are correct, we have sent almost 100 missionaries in the past five years. When I got here we had less than 80 people. (Please don’t do the math…If you’re a numbers person, it’s not pretty).

Because he and his family arrived late for the party, they ended up staying after everyone else had left and we got a chance to talk. It was the first time we had been together in over four years, but you would never know it.

I asked the family how they were enjoying the church they were attending. I know the pastor there and he’s a great guy. I mentioned something about the building during our conversation and he told me they had two large parcels of land and were trying to figure which parcel of land to build on. The church was going to build a large new campus. He said (and I’m paraphrasing), “I don’t know why they want to do that. They want to build up. We should be building wide, like you were talking about when you came here.” He and his family are waiting for the opportunity to help plant a church in their own area. In fact, he has stopped going to meetings where decisions are being made because he’s frustrated that the church wants to buy land or build big buildings. I sat there stunned that a man whom I had roughly one year to invest in was still trumpeting my words and mission four years later.

After they left, I came into my office and downloaded Nicole Nordeman’s song Legacy (album: Recollection: The Best of Nichole Nordeman) off of iTunes. I searched Youtube to see if the video was there. And I sat down with my wife and we talked about what he had said. And we started listing all the people who had moved to another part of the country or world, or who was still in the area but involved in a church plant. In most every case, the last update we heard from those missionaries were that they were investing themselves in ministry to church plants, small churches, or were pushing their churches to start churches. We sent out our first church planter one year after we came. He was a 73 year old retired Asian pastor who had been in our church less than a year and was compelled, according to him, to help start an Asian church out near the University of Delaware through our weekly discussions and the prompting of God (which is far more important). He and his wife are still involved in that plant four years later. Another family moved away in 2006. They joined a small church intending to planting churches as well as wanting to their skills, gifts and talents to serve, love, and invest in their community. They were intentional in that. I could tell story after story of people who were sent out with that mindset.

We need to consider our legacy as we minister, realizing all of us are ministers. How was Jesus known after the resurrection? Through those in whom he had invested himself. They were a reflection of Jesus, “little Christ’s”. The legacy of Jesus was not found in the masses but in the individuals AND the communities of faith that reflected a deep investment by Jesus and His Spirit. Jesus’ legacy is not found in the masses. It was found in the reflections. Your legacy is not found in the masses, but in those who reflect your life. We all need to realize that while we teach what we know, we reproduce who we are. Those in whom you invest will reflect who you are. That is a sobering thought.

We have not seen the masses come to Christ while we have been in Delaware. We have baptized 13 these past five years and led a few more to Christ that we didn’t baptize. My legacy will not be that I led a thriving, bustling, busy and large church. My legacy will be that since I arrived five years ago, we have sent out people seeking to make investments in the lives of others through church planting and church multiplication as well as living the Gospel as a message of wholeness, ministering to the whole person through investment, not just seeing them get out of hell and into heaven or coming to our particular church. (The irony: I’m not a church planter but I have a passion to see the church multiply, not grow big.) My legacy will be found in the people I invested in, not in the numbers I obtained, which really aren’t mine anyway.

I’ve listened to Legacy (album: Recollection: The Best of Nichole Nordeman) several times since Sunday night.  I’ve wept each time. The reason: at least one family in whom I invested a short period of my life in still lives that investment four years later. That never, ever gets old!

Lest you don’t know the song I speak of, here are the words:

I don’t mind if you’ve got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the who’s who and so-n-so’s that used to be the best
At such ‘n such…it wouldn’t matter much

I won’t lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an “Atta boy” or “Atta girl”
But in the end I’d like to hang my hat on more besides
the temporary trappings of this world

Chorus:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don’t have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It’s an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Chorus

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, “Well done” good and faithful one

And the video:

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Len Sweet

Just over two years ago, he walked in the room, at the Paramount Hotel in downtown Portland, OR.  I can remember what he was wearing and I thought, “this guy looks more like a 1960’s hippie than a professor”.  He went around the room meeting us, embracing those he already knew, and quietly making us feel important.

I have to say that I was nervous.  Len Sweet’s thoughts can be hazardous to your sleep, and I knew I was getting myself into something that would probably change my life forever.  In his introduction, he actually told us that would happen (and it has).  What I didn’t realize, until our cohort’s last time together with him, was what a wonderful model he gave regarding mentoring.  So in this post, I want to use Len as a case study to talk about mentoring, and I want you to see three things:

Effective Mentors give of their Time and Resources

Our first hour together, Len told us that one of his favorite restaurants was in Portland.  He told us that if we would give him $20 of our per diem for food, the next evening he would take us to this restaurant.  So the next night, 25 or so of us walked down the street to Morton’s Steakhouse, where a special menu was waiting for us.  I personally consumed about $100+ of food, not including the tea and milk (needed for my chocolate desert of course).

At our last cohort meeting in May, he had copies of his books that he gave away.  He also gave each of us shot glasses made of uranium glass.

A few weeks ago, my wife came in my office and told me, “Since Len is at Drew in New Jersey, why don’t we see if we could meet him for dinner?”  I told her to email him, and he responded quickly and gave us some dates that he would be available.  So two weeks ago we drove 2.5 hours from Delaware to meet him for dinner.  He took us to an incredible restaurant, where he picked up the check and made sure we had a wonderful experience.

My wife was amazed that someone of Len’s stature would spend time with the pastor of a small church and his wife.  But for two years I have seen Len do this, and I knew he would do this.  It is his heart.

Mentors are people who give of their time, resources and experiences.  They are not stingy, nor do they expect others to take care of them.  There are occasions where the mentor is to be honored, but they often struggle with that role.  What gets a mentor jazzed is to be able to share their life, all of their life, with others and see the light come on as those whom they have invested their life in finally understand what the mentor has been sharing.

Effective Mentors Open Doors and Expand Horizons

In 2007, I was at the Crystal Cathedral at a conference where Len was scheduled to speak, along with Bob Roberts.  I was able to have breakfast with Len the first morning, and mentioned that Bob Roberts was the Baptist I wanted to be.  So later that morning, Len taps me on the shoulder and says, “David, this is Bob Roberts.”  He introduced us and I am glad to call Bob a friend.  He spent time with me that day, gave me his contact info and we talked shop.  Bob even mentioned me in one of his books.

It was not only Bob, but Alan Hirsch.  And Joe Myers.  And on and on.  In two years he opened doors for me and others in my cohort to meet new people, be exposed to new opportunities and recommended us to positions and people.

Mentors do that.  They introduce others to people in their network.  I recall how I realized I was modeling this behavior personally.  I had a professor from one the six SBC seminaries up to do a parenting conference.  I mentioned how in one of our small groups, we were reading a book by Dan Kimball and that Dan was going to do a Skype videocast with us to talk about his book.  I also mentioned that I many in our church had read Bob Robert’s book Glocalization and that I got Bob to spend 2 hours on a conference call with us talking about the work and what he and his church was doing.  This professor told me that he really appreciated how I was using my network to open doors for others and to expand the horizons of their faith and understanding.  I now look and see that was a modeling of behavior I had seen out of my mentors – all of them – in my life.

Mentors also help us see beyond our own experiences.  They push us and expand our thinking.  And they help us make sense of our thoughts.

Effective Mentors Serve

Our last cohort meeting was at Len’s home on Orcas Island in the San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington state.  I watched at mealtime how he would always wait until everyone else was served and had all they needed before he ate.  He would pick up dirty plates and take out the trash.  And his kids also demonstrated that behavior.

It wasn’t just on one occasion.  I saw it on multiple occasions that I was with him.

He noted to us that he still preached at the camp meetings.  He loved doing it and it was also a reminder to him not to be too big for his britches as we would say in the south.  It helped him keep in touch with his roots and his passion for people.

He told my wife in an email after our dinner the other night that any way he could be a Barnabas to us, he would be happy to do so.

You see this humility and service in great mentors, notably Jesus.

This is not a post to exalt Len; in fact, he would probably not want me to post this.  But for me, Len has demonstrated some effective traits of mentoring.  We all need to be re-investing our lives and experiences in others.  Maybe this will give you principles to apply as well.

I have to believe that these same principles are evident in Jesus’ life.  They were certainly operating in Paul’s life.

Who are some of your mentors and how have they demonstrated effective mentoring to you?  Something you could do to honor them would be to let them know just how important they have been in your life.  Another thing would be to model mentoring by passing what you have learned from your mentors to others.

Now, a final note to Len…Thanks Len.  Not only for two years of blowing our minds but for opening doors, giving your time and resources, and modeling service.  The folks in LEC MOD 5 at GFU and there families will never be the same, which is what you told us would happen in the begining!

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