Community...Really?
While considering some more implications of the previous post about how liberalism has destroyed our sense of belonging, I considered what I might say to a mega or large multi-site church pastor about community, belonging and their church. I began to ponder if it would be possible for a church to say they want to be a church of small groups – an attempt at belonging and community – and still be mega. I have come to the conclusion that it would be extremely hard, if not impossible for a mega or large multi-site church to legitimately say they want to create community and belonging. In fact, despite their words, I would go so far to say that what they do demonstrates that small groups are not that important.
Before we get to the basis of my conclusion, however, let’s talk community.
In a Leadership Journal article, Len Sweet, hints that community is a place where people have similar interests, that is organized around a single purpose, where people can they tell the stories most central to who they are and find people eager to hear them, and where people participate so fully and have their lives changed by the experience. With these characteristics, Sweet includes the aspects of commonality and purpose, which are important to relationship development. Many with no common interests will come together simply for a common purpose, such as building a Habitat home. It is in that purpose community is formed and expressed. (1)
A Spirit-created community where people have a place to be embraced for who they are and how they all struggle would be refreshing. The normative way of considering spiritual community is through small groups within a church. Almost all churches have them and they are organized around many different factors. Some are organized around age, while some are organized around felt needs. Other small groups are organized around a common purpose. Some take place on Sunday mornings, others on Sunday evenings, and still others take place in peoples homes during the week. Yet, according to Joe Myers, “Small groups deliver only on one or two specific kinds of connection. A person’s search for community is more complex than this. The truth is that people can experience belonging in groups ranging in size from two to 2,000 or more. People have the competencies to pursue many different paths in their search for community.”
For Myers, community and belonging can happen in four spatial areas: public, social, personal, and intimate. Public space is where significant numbers of relationships are needed to experience a sense of belonging and community. It is about shared experiences, such as a football game or a concert. It is not about anonymity, but about connection and when people feel connected they can be open to participating in the experience. Within that connection and experience, community is formed, even for a moment.
Social belonging is “the small talk of our relationships.” It is the place where people connect by sharing pieces of their lives. This is where people try to make a good first impression. Personal space is where we connect through sharing private experiences. These are close friends, more than an acquaintance, but not yet completely and totally transparent. Intimate belonging is the place where people have complete transparency, where they are naked and not ashamed. Very few of a person’s relationships are intimate.
It is the personal space, Myers believes, where most people believe that the level of connectedness occurs and where actual community happens. Yet healthy community is achieved when there is harmonious connections in all four spaces, meaning that there are more public belongings than social, more social than intimate, and very few intimate. Therefore, community can occur in a large gathering where a person does not know many people, in a luncheon, at a meeting, in a small group, or in one-on-one conversation. Community is not about size; it is about a divinely created connection where people can interact and engage in each other’s stories. (2)
There is something that connects Myers’ and Sweet’s definition of community: shared stories. If community’s major characteristic is the sharing of life and life’s stories, then one has to question whether a mega or large multi-site church can actually create community and belonging.
Here is the basis of my conclusion:
1. Their buildings do not create room for community or belonging.
Very few church facilities, large or small, are created for community. They are designed for storing and herding large groups of people. Very few spaces are created so that community can take place. Even churches with “Sunday School” classes suffer from this. These rooms, class rooms they are often called, are set up in a traditional teacher-student lecture format where chairs are in rows and all face one direction with a singular focus – the stage, platform, black (or white) board, or teacher.
If churches were really concerned about being a church of small groups, the question needs to be asked: Why build large buildings?
2. Their worship does not create environments for community or belonging
Worship is a production. It’s a show. People come and are emotionally aroused and entertained. The audience (congregation) is passive in regards to those around them. There is no communication or interaction. They passively sit and listen to someone give a talk. But they are not sharing in the life-stories of those around them. They are spectators in a show.
3. Their budgets do not reflect an emphasis on community or belonging
Look at a typical large church budget and what do you notice? Most of their budget is spent on buildings, gatherings, and salaries. Why does a church of small groups need so much overhead? Does that overhead aid in the development of community?
What their buildings, gathering, and budgets demonstrate is that what they want to do is be a large organization with a good show, hoping the show will draw a crowd and help some people become Christ-followers. They may even emphasize small groups and try to organize small groups. Some may join small groups and community may take place in some of those communities. But does the church in general really want to be a church of small groups with a strong sense of community and belonging? No. They are either ignorant or are deceiving themselves if they think otherwise.
In reality, they are simply a reflection of our segregated and lonely culture searching for a place to belong. More community takes place in the marketplace than in most churches, especially large churches.
(1) Leonard Sweet, “The Quest for Community,” Leadership Journal XX, no. 4 (1999).
(2) Joseph R. Myers, The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and Small Groups (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Youth Specialties, 2003), 18, 41-51.
